Addiction not only destructs the life of an addict but the lives of the people involved with him/ her- including children and spouses due to divorce. Drug and alcohol abuse can disrupt normal family functioning and impact all areas of life.
Watching a loved one struggle with addiction is painful and frustrating, especially when the addict refuses to stop using it. The feeling of helplessness, the damaging relationships, and the intense emotional pain may cause you to reach a point where divorce is your final option. You must remain strong and have a solid support system behind you when going through this process because it can be extremely difficult.
If seeking a divorce from an addicted partner here are some steps you must follow:
Step 1: Taking care of yourself
In order to effectively divorce an addict, you must first take care of yourself. You cannot give 100% if you are sick and exhausted from the situation at home. Set up a schedule that will allow you to have time for yourself. This can include going out with friends, getting a hobby, or going back to school. Build a support system that you can lean on to help you through this process.
Step 2: Find an experienced Family or Divorce Lawyer:
Finding experienced attorneys in Knoxville TN who can assist you in getting through this process should be your priority. You will need a strong advocate that understands the addictive patterns of your spouse and what needs to be done to protect yourself from drug abuse. When looking for a lawyer make sure that the attorney has enough experience to handle your case.
A professional Knoxville divorce attorney can help you with:
- Providing a safe environment for you and your children
- Understanding different aspects of the addiction induced divorce process
- Helping with child custody, visitation rights, and restraining orders
- Negotiating a settlement agreement that satisfies both spouses’ needs
- Drafting your divorce petition
- Preparing you for the dissolution hearing
- Filing all motions
- Negotiating with your spouse’s attorney or negotiating directly with your spouse if he is willing to cooperate.
An attorney can help ensure that you are obtaining a fair settlement and protect yourself from any legal issues that may arise in the future.
Step 3: Consider Child Custody arrangements and Child Support:
In some cases, child custody arrangements have been made under the influence of drugs or alcohol. In such cases, you must consider what is best for your children and how this new arrangement will affect them. If necessary, seek legal advice from a family attorney who can help you draft a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interest while keeping your children’s safety at the forefront.
The courts consider many factors when it comes to child support including:
- Your income
- Expenses
- Number of children you are supporting,
- Whether or not spousal support is necessary
Discuss your needs with an experienced divorce attorney in Tn who can help you understand what you are entitled to receive or provide for both yourself and the children.
Step 4: Deal with financial issues
During this process, you must be aware of all your assets including bank accounts, real estate, investments, and any other property that is jointly owned. Be prepared for hard negotiations regarding financial support as well because drug addiction can affect the spouse’s ability to provide financial support. It may be necessary to hire an accountant or expert to accurately figure out what should be expected. It is important to have a realistic picture of financial support since it can be difficult to get accurate information from addicts.
Step 4: Protect yourself financially before, during, and after the process
There are several steps you can take to protect yourself financially when divorcing an addict. You need to gather all of your financial records together so that your Knoxville divorce lawyer can prepare a complete financial statement. You should also make sure you know the following information about your spouse’s assets and liabilities:
- Assets – income, stocks, bonds, 401k accounts, mutual funds, real estate (including vehicles), cash savings
- Liabilities – credit card debt; mortgage; car loans; student loans; line of credit
- Income – salary, bonus, commissions, social security benefits
- Financial records – tax returns, bank statements, and pay stubs from all jobs.
It is important to get a clear picture of your financial future. Depending on the type of addiction that your spouse suffers from different strategies may be used to protect you. You should also take steps to protect your credit and prevent further financial damage in the following ways:
- Contact each of the three national credit reporting agencies directly and ask for a 90-day fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. This will make it harder for others to obtain credit in your name
- Monitor your credit and bank accounts on a regular basis
- Close all joint credit cards and take out a loan in your name only
- Open a new checking account that your spouse does not have access to so they cannot withdraw funds.
In some cases, the addictive spouse may try to manipulate you for their own gain. You must know your rights and what should legally happen if this situation were to take place. Do not sign anything without consulting your divorce lawyer in Knoxville Tn. Make sure you understand all of the contents in any agreement that is drafted for you.
Step 5: Stay physically safe by changing your routine
It is important to talk with someone you trust about the situation. You need to be prepared for your spouse’s reactions during this process. Get help from friends, family, or an attorney if needed. It is important to find a way to remove yourself from the situation until you can get a clear idea of what is going on.
Go meet a friend for lunch once a week, go to work later, or arrive home earlier than usual. Keep your cell phone with you at all times and do not use alcohol as a self-medication
Step 6: File for Divorce
The process of filing for divorce can vary depending on where you live but the steps are generally the same –
You file a petition in the appropriate court and serve it to your spouse.
You may also have to provide the court with documents such as:
- Financial statement,
- Law enforcement reports,
- Restraining orders,
- Information about where you are living.
In most states, there is a mandatory waiting period before the divorce is finalized that begins once your spouse has been served or when they have been notified of your intention to divorce.
You should not expect any contact between you and your spouse during this time period. Be prepared for pushback from your spouse, especially if they are an addict. They will probably not want to give up the life they have created with you or their children. Your attorney in Knoxville Tn can help you here by reminding them that it is the addiction that has destroyed the marriage and not you. It will be important for your lawyer to provide as much information as possible to help support your side of the case. You do not want any holes in the story.
After some time passes, an initial court appearance may be scheduled where you will each make a statement, answer questions and provide any evidence that you have. Most courts require an agreement to be approved by a judge before it becomes final. Even if there is no dispute about issues such as child custody and support, your divorce will not be finalized until a court hearing has been held.
Step 8: What if your spouse does not agree?
If your spouse refuses to cooperate or wants to maintain the status quo, they can ask for a temporary order from the court. This will provide them with some time to consider their options and may prolong your life in limbo while you wait for a hearing date.
If your spouse does not want to work together you will need to file a motion with the court seeking a default judgment. You will have to show with clear and convincing evidence that your spouse has failed to participate in the divorce process by failing to attend required court hearings, produce documents or provide information. If you cannot negotiate an agreement after more than six months of negotiations through counsel you can file for divorce on fault grounds.
Read here to know ways of getting a divorce without your spouse
If your spouse files a response denying the allegations of abuse that you have made then the judge will consider any evidence which proves that your spouse has committed adultery. If the court finds that there is enough evidence to prove your case, you can file for divorce on grounds of irretrievable marital breakdown. This will not be an easy process and many people do not want to go through it even if they are justified in doing so.
Step 9: Removing your spouse’s name from everything that you own
Before the dissolution is complete, you will need to modify any legal documents (e.g., power of attorney, insurance policies) and assets (e.g., bank accounts). While this may not seem like an important step, it can save you a lot of time and trouble in the future.
Once your spouse is served with divorce papers, they will be required to take all their other assets out of joint accounts that both names appear on. Joint bank accounts should not be left open because this can cause problems for the party who has served the papers and does not yet have access to their money.
Step 6: Final step Make a Plan
Make a plan for your life post-divorce. It may be a good time to completely restart your life in a different city. If you have children, consider moving them with you if they are old enough and want to go. The only tangible thing that will survive from the marriage is what you take when it ends.
Planning ahead can help you stay emotionally focused on taking care of yourself and getting through rather than dwelling on the anger and past life. Select a support system you can count on and give them frequent updates as needed. If there are family members or friends who will be supportive, talk to them early about what kinds of help they might be able to provide. The more you communicate with people who can help you, the less isolated and alone you will feel.
Conclusion:
Divorce is difficult emotionally but it can be made easier with proper legal representation. It is important to act quickly regarding these issues since it can affect your children if you do not take action.
You need to be aware of all the legal obligations and responsibilities you must adhere to, as well as any other important documents that will allow you to move forward with this case. The first step is filing for divorce and finalizing your petition. So it may be wise to contact expert divorce lawyers in Knoxville Tn who can help guide you through this messy matter.
Seeking an unexpected divorce is difficult but it does not have to be hard.
